I am broken.
I can never remember plans. Not unless they're written down on a calendar or something.
I want to try to explain it. To get it into words. Because the act of turning thoughts into words usually helps me understand things.
In my mind a lot of future events are .. theoretical? I don't think that's the right word, but I don't know what the right word would actually be. If you say "I'm going to a show on Saturday" or even "Do you want to do something next week?" I can engage in that conversation, but it happens in a kind of abstract sense.
It doesn't ever slot into the.. the bigger picture? Again I can't find the right words. It doesn't switch from abstract to concrete in my mind until something happens to make it "real". Like, writing it on a calendar.
And when it's abstract, my mind doesn't hold onto it. I might recall it if reminded, but often it will have completely gone and I won't know what you're talking about if you bring it up again.
And then things happen. And I'm surprised by them.
It's too easy for conversations to take place in a part of my brain that is isolated. Maybe compartmentalised is a relevant word? I need a specific event or ritual to push it over into the "real world", to give it actual consequence and to fit it in with things that are actually happening. And I struggle with that.